The Second Saga: Part Twelve

Mournedee arrived with a bang at Oggin’s cottage and much earlier than he would have liked but arrive it did. The Torchman’s knock was in fact actually a little late, as dawn had already broken but Oggin didn’t mind as he and Kajoa had prepared all his needs for the day the night before. He was up and dressed and in the kitchen in a couple of minutes and a quick drink of tea and an oat cake saw him on his way to Bob Weaver’s place with a spring in his step. As he crossed the green, Evan Evans was just driving his sheep to their first feed of Newness Season on the common ground. Oggin waved a greeting and Evan held up his crook by way of reply and as Oggin turned back he saw a sight to freeze the blood, The Bonnet Biddy, in full cry and on some sort of mission. In fact she was almost running and that is not something anyone should see this early in the day, just the same, Oggin couldn’t resist.

“Hey there Annie....where are you off to this early in the day....?”

“Oh....ish zat you “Mish’ter Oggin’sh....?”

Keeping a respectable and more importantly dry distance, he replied.

“Yes Annie....it’s me Oggin....I’m off to work.....what’s your hurry....?”

Oh Mish’ter Oggin’sh.....Good Mornin’sh to you’sh....I got’sh a mess’shge to she Tookie and H’rshshsh the Boog’sh....they’sh is’ss wantin’ hat’sh in a hurry’sh.....sh’ow I i’sh hurryin’ a bit’sh.....”

“Well, well...” replied Oggin with a perfectly straight ‘poker’ face “I wonder why on Ogg they would need hats in such a hurry...?”

“Wells...I really don’t’sh know’sh.....buts I thought’sh I’d better hurrys a bit’sh....”

“Well I shan’t keep you Annie....you stay well....”

“And’s you’sh Mish’ter Oggin’sh....you’sh sh’tay wells too....”

Oggin watched as The Bonnet Biddy scampered away toward Tookie the Boog’s cottage, of course, he knew full well why the two Boog’s wanted “hats in a hurry” but doubted that Tookie was ready to answer her door at this hour and he also doubted very much that Annie was prepared for the sight that was about to greet her!

When Oggin reached Bob’s place he could see the two older boys stood waiting, behind the gate and as he approached they stood back and swung it open. Inside he could see the donkey had been hitched up to a small two wheel cart and the midden cover was lashed to it. The first thing to strike Oggin was that the two boys seemed a little ‘over-dressed’ for a working day and their hair, up to now an unruly mop, was all slicked down and shiny. Bob himself stood beside the donkey and he had a mocking smile on his face as he nodded toward the lads.

“Good Mornin’ to ‘e Oggin....”

“And good Morning to you Bob....and you boys too....I see we are all ready to go...”

“We is that...Young Bob juniou’er ‘ere ain’t bin out fer a week or more....I recon ‘ees almost a’cited...bless ‘un....”

“Come on then...sooner start...sooner finish...” said Oggin.

“You’um two boies can shut the gate and walk behin’ the cart...I don’ won yous gettin’ there afore uzz....else tha’ wumon‘ll be ‘aving ye fer ‘er breakfas’....more an’ loike....”

Bob made a clicking sound and the donkey slowly moved forward, Oggin fell in beside Bob and the two men started through the gate together.

“Tell me Bob...why’s the donkey called Bob junior....?”

“Cos oor ald Dickey, wus call’d Bob, ‘ee up an’ dy’de...this’un iz ‘es son loike...so I calls’un jun’iur....”

“Oh....right...I understand...” said Oggin but he didn’t really.

The two men and the apparently happy Donkey plodded on together in the morning sunshine, the two boys kept up the rear, chatting quietly. As the cart was quite wide, Oggin took them on a slightly more circuitous route, staying on the main paths and tracks. They had reached about half way when there came that familiar ‘Pop’ and cloud of smoke that heralds the arrival of The Stone Woman. The Donkey stopped, pricked up its ears and just stared with hairy curiosity, Bob also stood stock still, although he looked a little apprehensive, the two boys tried to look blasé, in that annoying way all teenagers do.

“Greetings to Thee...Oggin of the Ogg....and to Thee...Bob Weaver of the Fens....and to you “Bob Junior”....O Good and Faithful servant of man....”

At this, Oggin looked bored, Bob relaxed just a little and Bob junior spread his ears in greeting. Oggin could swear he saw the donkey smile too.

“And Good Morrow to you Gladys....to what do we owe the delight of your regal presents....” replied Oggin, starting to get in the mood.

“Take not the piss...Oggin of the Ogg...lest I smote thee with me wand....I have come to give you and your friends a dire warning....”

It struck Oggin that all of The Stone Woman’s warnings were always...’dire’.

“But....before I divulge to you this information most precious....remember ye this...’Never put all your Ducks in one trouser leg’.....Now....listen carefully....A secret lies within the midden you are digging....a secret most evil....most malevolent...in fact....not very nice at all....”

“And what is it....this secret....?” asked Oggin

“If I told you.....it wouldn’t be a secret....would it....!”

“And if you don’t tell us....all this has been a waste of time...” retorted Oggin.

“Ah....yes....right....fair point, O Wise and Watchful Oggin....fair point.....”

“An’ well made an’all...” chipped in Bob.

“Indeed Bob Weaver.....well...somebody...I’m not saying who mind...but somebody has buried something in the midden...she...I mean they...thought you had finished...and she...sorry...I mean They....thought you’d be backfilling it today...”

“So the secret would remain.....well...secret...and under ten bushels of stones...” replied Oggin

“An’a a foo bushels of cat shite an’all...” added Bob, helpfully.

“Yes....stones and.....er...as you say...but my point is it should not be removed...it must remain buried....for all time...”

“Now that Gladys is going to be a bit of a problem... you see the midden is too shallow and needs to be at least two feet deeper....or it won’t work...”

“I’m sorry Oggin of the Ogg.....I have neither knowledge of the vagaries of middens...nor how they function...but I implore you to take care....if you must dig deeper...well you must....but the “Item” must be reburied it must...”

“So it shall be Gladys....so it shall be.....just a little less secret...”

By this time, Oggin, Bob and The Stone Woman were almost huddled together, next to Bob junior’s head and the two lads had got bored, wondered off and started throwing fir cones at each other and weren’t listening, Gladys leaned closer.

“Then it must remain between the four us....and never be spoken of again....ever....”

“Four of us....?” said Oggin

“Why yes....Oggin of the Ogg...Bob junior has heard all that has transpired this day...”

At this, the Donkey twitched his ears and nodded his head, before turning slightly to look at Oggin.

“R-i-g-h-t.....” said Oggin, not believing it himself.

“In that case....Oggin of the Ogg and the Two Bob’s of the Fens...I leave it in your hands...and hooves...to see that this dire secret remains so.....but...remember you this...’Many a Muckle....makes Mud Pie’ ....”

And with another puff of smoke, she was gone. The two men and the faithful beast stood in silence for a moment, before Bob spoke.

“Izz ‘er all’ays loike thaa’....?”

“I’m afraid so Bob.....I’m afraid so....Shall we go...?”

Bob clicked his tongue and the party moved on....