Part Six

Oggin the Ogg woke early and immediately wished he hadn’t woke at all. His head appeared to contain a Pipe and Drum band, playing loudly but badly. His mouth had been newly infested with a Badger set and they were using it as a toilet and his stomach apparently contained a ball of bubbling lava. He opened one eye at a time, not wishing to press his luck and immediately saw the reason for the tummy trouble, a tightly curled Tabby cat which had decided to sleep there and was snoring. He brushed the cat to the floor and suffered exquisite pain from moving at all and then, additionally, from the wailing sound the cat made in protest. As Oggin could see the sun outside the window, at least through one eye, he decided it must be daytime but he had no idea what time, or even what day. He sort of vaguely remembered deciding to forgo his bed in favour of the parlour sofa but then couldn’t remember why and as the actual thinking about it caused more pain in his head, he gave up. Slowly, very slowly, his brain started to focus. He remembered the encounter with The Hasslesnag, the broken wheel and the decision to go for an ale, everything after that was a little hazy. The cottage was silent, so Oggin thought he’d forgo the dangers of breakfast and leave Kajoa to continue to sleep. He rose and realised why his legs hurt, the sofa was short and he was long and the wooden arms had been digging in his calves all night. Since he was already still dressed, he went outside and estimated it was in fact very early, around six or seven but since he had a lot of work to do, he considered the early start serendipity and set about it, albeit a little stiffly.

With great care he removed the barrow from the side of the shed, he didn’t think he could stand The Sleeping Man’s shouting just yet, took it up the garden and inspected the axle mountings on it. The damage was mostly cosmetic, so all he needed was a replacement wheel. A quick search through some of his older, abandoned, projects yielded up a suitable iron replacement and it even had a tyre still riveted to it and he was in the process of mating the two together when he heard a voice from the back door.

“Ogg’n...will youse be wantin’ some tea hen...?”

Oggin froze, spanner poised in mid-air, the voice sounded like Kajoa but was quiet and more worryingly, there were no insults. He turned to look at the door and saw that is was indeed Kajoa, well sort of. She was dressed in her second best tartan dressing gown and the soft slippers with pom-poms on, her thatch of red curly hair was all sticking out to one side and her eyes were very, very bloodshot, resembling two dim, red oil lamps. Clearly, whatever he had consumed last night, she had consumed considerably more and she was obviously suffering for it, she was leaning very heavily against the door surround for support.

“That would be lovely darling...if you can manage it...”  

He watched as Kajoa shuffled slowly around and disappeared into the kitchen and then he heard the clang of a saucepan and a low groan of pain.

“Are you okay my darling...?”

“Aye....it’s just ma heid...its loupin summat terrible...”

Oggin didn’t quite understand that but as she’d spent an evening with The Mammie, it would take a day or two for her to get back to normal speech. The shuffling Kajoa reappeared with a mug of tea and set down on Oggin’s tool box.

“I’m away back to ma bed.....” she whispered in a gruff voice.

She turned and shuffled slowly back, Oggin knew she was in a bad way, when even footsteps hurt. As he worked, he drank the tea and it improved his stomach, which improved his head and led to an inevitable visit to the “little shed”. After a while, he felt well enough to face the day in earnest and started out to take the wheelbarrow back to Tookie the Boog.

As Oggin propelled the barrow he listened for any squeaks and was pleased to hear nothing, so the Badger grease on the axle had worked well and the tyre made it smoother than the old wooden wheel. As he got to the path beside the green he heard a voice calling his name.

“Mish’ter Oggin’sh...Mish’ter Oggin’sh....Coo’ee.....Mish’ter Oggin’sh..!”

Oggin stopped and looked round and his good mood nosedived, it was The Bonnet Biddy and she was coming towards him and he didn’t have a rain hood!

The Bonnet Biddy was a local ‘character’, she had owned and run the village milliners shop until it went bust and was taken over by the Patel Brothers who turned it into the Halal Pie and Mash Shop. The Biddy had made and sold hats, caps, bonnets and yarmulkes in the village for years and still produced the odd one for friends. The problem was her speech impediment, it caused her to salivate freely and then project said saliva at whoever she was speaking to. Since the folk of Ogg were a very polite people, no-one had ever mentioned it to her, for fear of causing embarrassment. Some of the village wags however, unkindly suggested her late husband Norris, actually drowned.

Oggin thought quickly and turned and stood with his back to the wind, facing into the sun. As the Bonnet Biddy approached, he raised his hand to shield his eyes from the glare and he hoped, the worst of the spittle to come and if he was lucky, the wind might help as well.

“Oh Mish’ter Oggin’sh...I’m sh’o glads I caught’ed you...I’ve finished’did the hat that Kajoa’sh wanted’did...”

The wind had stopped and didn’t help, at all.

“Right you are then Annie....I‘ll let her know...now I really must run along...nice to see you again....keep well now...keep well....”

Oggin moved away and fought the temptation to run, his beard felt damp and his head was distinctly wet. The wind now started to blow again and Oggin looked around for the Hasslesnag, just in case. He reached Tookie’s cottage and knocked on the door, it took some time before it opened and Oggin could make out muffled cries from inside. Tookie the Boog opened the door in a very dishevelled state, her hair was a mess, her shirt was inside out and her skirt was on back to front.

“Oh....er...Oggin...it’s yourself....”

“Yes....I’ve brought your barrow back...as promised...”

“Oh....roite...er...Oi have a message for ya, from Greedle da Bronze...”

There was a long pause, before Oggin spoke.

“Yes.......and what is it...?”

“What’s what....?”

“The message Tookie....from Greedle...?”

“Oh...yes....da message....yes....ah, she sent one of dem Greek lads round to say she wanted ta speak to ye’s...quick as ya loike....”

“Okay....I’ll go there next then...”

“Oi kept a hold of da Greek lad....in case yous had a message to sen’ back loike....Oi’ll let him go...Oi mean, send him back in a bit....after Oi give him a cup a tea....an’ such....”

“Okay Tookie...I’ll let Greedle know where he is when I speak to her then....”

“NO......no.....no...er...need for dat...Oi’ll see ta dat meself...Bye now Oggin...see ya soon an’ all....Bye”

The door was closing quickly as she spoke and Oggin murmured a prayer for the young Greek man as he set off to speak with Greedle the Bronzed. This wasn’t on his list of “things to do today” but it didn’t ever pay to ignore a summons from Greedle....if long life and good health was your goal.