Part Five

Oggin stood stock still, shoulders drooped, rooted to the spot and watched as the previously, perfectly good wheel rolled into the long grass at the side of the path, in a very far from ‘perfectly good’ way. Under his breath, he muttered,

“Oh....Bugger....!”

He heard a soft, tinkling, girly giggle and looked up to see The Hasslesnag, dancing and prancing along the path. Skipping and spinning she danced toward him, laughing and shouting over and over “Oh Bugger....Oh Bummocks...the Wheel’s come off..”. She was dressed in her usual costume of red and green striped tights and matching top, with red pointy shoes and a little red felt hat, a shock of blonde hair burst from under the hat like a yellow cloud. The horizontal stripes of her outfit did make her look a bit ‘hippy’ but she danced and scampered with an annoying ease. Oggin suddenly dropped the barrow and made a lunge toward the Hasslesnag. Quick as a flash, she turned and skipped away and then vanished into thin air,  leaving nothing but a fading laugh, Oggin sighed and muttered,

“One of these days you little....’Ssssprite’....one of these days.....!”

He picked up the now useless wheelbarrow and heaved it onto his back, then set off again. As he passed, he glanced down at the broken wheel lying in the grass but decided it was beyond help and would be more trouble than it was worth to repair.

With a now more than passing resemblance to an oversize tortoise, Oggin set off and despite his awkward load, made good time to his back garden. He propped the barrow against his shed and was rewarded by a shout of,

“Feck off can’t you....I’m asleep!”

He opened the back door expecting to see Kajoa but she wasn’t there and he could hear raucous shouting coming from the front parlour, he stood still and listened. It was the sound of Kajoa and The Mammie, deep in a loud and apparently very animated conversation. Now, Oggin had lived with Kajoa for some time and had become used to her somewhat odd accent but when she got together with The Mammie, all hell broke loose. Two Tosk’s together were almost impossible to understand and if a large quantity of Watermelon Whiskey was added to this mix, they would talk at high speed and simultaneously! It also meant that the room would be full of any number of small children and as much as Oggin was fond of kids, you could have too much of a good thing. His elbow briefly caught the handle of a saucepan and sent it clattering and banging to the floor and a slightly slurred but instantly recognisable voice rang out.

“Isss zat you ya baldy bampot....izz aboot time you shoe’ed yer ugly mug round here...did ye get some money oota tha’ skinny skank thisss time...eh?”

In the background Oggin could hear Mammie.

“You tell ‘im hen...you tell ‘im....” she chimed in.  

“Yes my little sweet pea, yes....just money this time....not even a drink...”

“’den where da feck hay’ya bin all thisss time...ya piss pot...?”

“I had to go and see Greedle the Bronzed and H’rsh the Boog as well my little cygnet...”

Mammie chimed in again,

“He’s holdin’ oot on ya hen...will I gie ‘im a slap for ye....”

“Och nooo....dinae be ye be spoilin’ ma fun hen...”

Both the women burst into raucous laughter and that was followed by loud coughing and more laughter.

“Well my Fragrant Flower...I will pop down the pub for an ale or two...I’ll see you later....”

“Aye....an’ I doot ye’ll be hame afore da wee hours as usual...dinae be makin’ a load a noise when ya come back either....”

“Of course not sweetness....of course not....Oh and good night to you too Mammie....”

“Feck off....ya numpty ya....” came the friendly reply.

Oggin stepped back out to the garden and stood in the dwindling half light of the evening and looked up to the stars above, it was a clear sky and held the promise of a another fine day to come. He strode off the local inn and was soon sitting with an ale in one hand and a pasty in the other...content.