The Second Saga: Part Sixteen

Oggin the Ogg and Bob Weaver followed the shapely rear of Nitta the Cutter through her back door and into the cottage. Oggin had been into this cottage only once before, when H’rsh the Boog lived there and remembered it as a ramshackle, run down sort of place but this was no longer the case, not at all. The first thing to strike Oggin was the smell, a deep, almost dark smell, very sweet but not sickly, with a hint of herb-like undertones, refreshing and yet very intoxicating at the same time. The rear door had a tiny vestibule that led into the kitchen. The kitchen was a bright oasis of light, white walls, white floors and white surfaces. It was very intense and seemed to be lit from everywhere at once but in fact all the light came from a translucent white ceiling, the windows had been coloured with some sort of deep blue tint, on the glass.

All the internal doors were gold painted and heavily embossed with strange artworks. The walls of the hallway were covered in purple velvet and Oggin glanced up at the ceiling which at first seemed black but was in fact very dark blue and pin pricks of light shone out like stars in the night sky. The floor was black and white, in chequer board tiles. Nitaa reached a door, pushed it open and beckoned the dumb struck pair into the room beyond.

“Come in’ter me w’ed w’oom....an’ meet me guests....”

The “w’ed w’oom” turned out to be the ‘red room’ but Oggin thought ‘womb’ would have done just as well, it was decorated in dark reds and clarets throughout, even the large and well stuffed leather sofa was dark red. The only exception was a huge peacock backed, cane chair in one corner, in it sat a small, blond haired young woman, whom Oggin didn’t recognise. One end of the sofa was occupied by a middle aged looking woman in a tweed suit, who nodded to Oggin as he entered. Once Bob was in the room, Nitaa closed the door behind them and took a seat at the other end of the sofa, Oggin quickly realised that he and Bob were obviously meant to stand. Oggin’s eyes flicked around the room, the lamps were dim and the red shades didn’t help but he could make out the same strange renderings on the walls that he had seen on the doors. The almost tangible silence was abruptly broken by a girlish giggle and Oggin’s blood turned to ice water, it had come from the youngster in the cane chair, it was The Hasslesnag!

The tweedy woman smiled sweetly, leaned forward and spoke.

”Welcome Oggin of the Ogg....and Bob Weaver of the Fens....These are my friends....Nitaa you know of course....and this young lady is Cara....”

It took a couple of seconds for Oggin to regain the power of speech as his brain raced to catch up with his ears. This neat, tidy, almost prim woman in her two piece tweed suit and white blouse was, The Stone Woman.

“Er...um....Hello Gladys....you look...er....well....different...”

The young woman giggled again and Oggin turned his head to face her.

“And so do you.....um....Cara....” he said trying to keep a tremor out of his voice. And indeed she did, a simple flowered sun dress and her blonde locks in a simple but elegant style too, were it not for the impish smile and twinkling eyes, he would not have recognised her at all. Gladys interrupted his thoughts.

“Now...Oggin and Bob...I know that you both have a great many questions and I....we...will try to answer some of them for you...I realise that keeping the secret of the trench has been hard on you both but you must understand...both of you...that it was necessary to prevent a calamity beyond your understanding....”

“Calamity Gladys?....What could be so calamitous about a book of recipes written by H’rsh the Boog....why was it so important that Nitaa needed to try and bury it under a few bushels of dirt and stones...”

“...an’ cat poop an’all...” interjected Bob.

“...yes...and cat poop too....Why were the scribbles of an innocent, short sighted, hairy little Boog so important that two honest men and a daft donkey were sworn to secrecy...on pain of dire retribution...at least....can you help us to understand that....”

“Oggin...this whole thing was an accident...nothing more...well a chain of accidents really...but none of this was meant to happen....it just...well...did...”

“To be honest Gladys...that doesn’t help...” 

“Well then....I’d better explain.....As I’m sure you know, there are three types of human kind...The Fairy Folk...The Mortals....and Half-Way Folk...like Nitaa and myself....Cara is one of the Fairy Folk...she assists me in my work....Well, Cara and I engineered the dismissal of Greedle the Bronze in the belief that her loss would be the district’s gain...and indeed so it was...but...what we didn’t know however, was that one silly little Boog would stumble...quite by chance...across some very dangerous herbal recipes and might try and use them...or even worse...lose them...”

“And then....?” enquired Oggin

“And then events spiralled out of our control...First H’rsh moves out of her cottage and shacks up with that busty tart Tookie and her old cottage becomes even more derelict.....if that were possible....and then...at the same time our dear friend Nitaa is driven from her home in Eastex by some narrow minded bigots who insisted she was a follower of the Old Wicca customs.....which she wasn’t I might add....”

“So you move Nitaa the Cutter up here from Eastex...all well and good...but it still doesn’t explain that book...in a tin...in a midden...and a smug Donkey...”

“Well Oggin....despite a search of this cottage...while it was being renovated there was still no sign of H’rsh’s book of recipes...so we assumed she had taken it with her when she moved out...Once Nitaa was in this place, Cara and I convinced the Boogs to pay a visit here for a day of hair therapy and Cara and I searched Tookie’s home for the book....”

“I see...You and Cara, shall we say...remove the book and bring it here....but where do we figure in this little plot of yours....?”

“The midden you and Bob were contracted to provide was just a piece of good luck really....it gave us the perfect place to dispose of that retched book for good....or so we thought...Bob junior told Cara how the job was going but we mistakenly thought you were going to be backfilling...when in fact...you had more to dig...”

“’as thaa dinkey bin taalkin’ out’a turn...?” asked Bob

“No Bob...” replied Cara “he and I have the odd natter during the night...I just misunderstood what he said...I don’t speak Donkey very well....”

“So why is he so damn smug then...?” demanded Oggin

“’cos it was ‘im wot told us not’a burn that bleedin’ book...” replied Nitaa

“Yes Oggin...we have young Bob junior to thank for that excellent and timely advice...Apparently...if we had burnt the book the dangerous recipes would have survived as Elfin Smoke and could be captured by anyone with the right equipment and knowledge....He told us it had to be buried inside a metal box and left to rot in the soil, till the writing is absorbed into the earth...”

“Okay Gladys....that just about explains it all...but it still leaves one small problem...Kajoa...she still thinks I’m hiding something from her...which of course I am....and to be honest I’m really not good at keeping things from her...she sees straight through me...”

“Don’t worry about that Oggin...” replied Cara, “...I have made her ‘forgive and forget’ with a little spell I cast...She won’t be giving you a hard time over that anymore...”

Bob, who for the most part had stayed silent and listened carefully suddenly craned his head and started looking through the window at something outside.

“Wos a’matter wiv dem stooped young’ens...they’m be actin’ daft’er than normal loike....”

“Ah....yes...sorry about that Bob...” replied The Stone Woman “We put them both in a short time loop...they keep repeating the same actions and speech over and over....when you go back outside they’ll think just a minute or two has passed...we thought it best you wouldn’t have to account for too much time spent in here...”

“Hmm...I do wonder waat they be talkin’ about fer all this toime...”

“Prolly be me bleedin’ brassiere size...like dey always do...mucky little buggers....” replied Nitaa in a scornful tone.

“Yes...well...be that as it may Gladys...I think all that is left now is the payment due...for the midden...”

“Indeed it is Oggin...Bob...I trust the secret of the midden’s contents will remain so....here is your payment with our gratitude and our thanks...”

She handed Oggin a large leather bag which he hefted in his hand, testing its weight. He nodded to The Stone Woman and then to Nitaa and turned and winked at Cara The Hasslesnag and she giggled her girlish giggle in reply.

Nitaa the Cutter escorted the two men back through the hall and kitchen and out into the garden. Oggin turned briefly and spoke.

“It’s been almost nice doing business with you...Please contact me if you need anything else....”

With a final nod he and Bob went out to the path and saw the two Bobs sort of freeze and then start talking again, just as The Stone Woman said they would. Bob junior got to his feet and flashed one of his brown smiles at Oggin who smiled back, shaking his head slowly.

So, that was the end of the job, the little band of workers set off back toward The Village and home. The boys shared the job of pushing the ball-barrow and trying to lead a smug donkey. Back at Bob’s house the two men divided the coin as per their agreement over a tankard of ale. Neither were sorry to see the job finished but both admitted to enjoying the time they spent together. Oggin parted company from Bob with a firm shake of hands and slowly made his way home. He cleaned and put away his tools, stowed the ball-barrow and went into the kitchen, Kajoa was busy as usual at the stove and the smell of her Squirrel stew and dumplings filled the kitchen.

“Is that you Oggin ya Bampot ye...?”

“It is my fragrant flower...”

“Weil gan an’ wash your’sell ya dirty beastie ye....supper’s almost done...”

As Oggin went to change and wash he thought of the Hasslesnag’s words and whispered to himself....”Forget...well maybe....but Forgive....somehow I doubt it....”

THE END