Part Three:

It is worth pausing to consider the history of the much maligned and humble midden and those who have ‘grubbed’ it over time. The midden has been with us for centuries in one form or another and in The Land of Ogg it has been refined to new and improved levels. The simple “hole in the ground” has been replaced with a carefully lined trench, usually near the kitchen door and next to the privy hut. All “waste” is deposited in the trench and covered with a loose coat of soil. This mixture slowly breaks down into a fine loam like compost which is recycled for the growing of vegetables and other foodstuffs. The ‘art’ of grubbing is the removal of the finished loam and any bones in the midden without disturbing the process of digestion and is considered very much a “skill” and held in high esteem. Since each midden is to a large extent very ‘individual’ to each household the Grubbing tools are left with the householder, to be cleaned and safely stored till the next visit.

As Oggin stood, casting his professional eye over the midden, he heard the kitchen door open behind him, he turned to see Tookie with the tools in her hands. She was wearing a pair of blue, short shorts that appeared to have been painted on and a white shirt, tied under her ample bust. Oggin had to concentrate hard to keep his mouth shut but he couldn’t stop his big brown eyes being glued to the two large, pointy, brown shadows on Tookie’s shirt.

“Here ya are darlin’....all nice an’ clean...Oh an’ da tools is after bein’ polished an’ all...”

Oggin’s eyes remained trans-fixed on Tookie’s shirt front.

“Oh...er...yes...right...”

“I’m up here Oggin....”

Oggin flinched, blushed beneath his beard and looked up to meet Tookie’s smiling gaze.

“Oh...yes...sorry... I’ll take those and....er...get started if I may..”

Tookie passed over the tools, stepped closer and placed a soft hand on Oggin’s broad chest and stared into his eyes.

“Oggin me boy’o...you can start any time ya like...”

With a slow wink, she turned and went back into the cottage.

Oggin watched her rear disappear through the door and whispered to himself,

“Like two babies fightin’ under a blanket...”

He then set to, working with care and diligence, sorting, sifting and putting the different products into various piles beside the trench. New soil was sifted onto the midden and the compost he’d removed was placed into a wheelbarrow and a small collection of bleached, white animal bones were put into a cotton bag. As he stopped to survey his progress, Tookie appeared with a steaming mug of tea, she set it on the wheelbarrow and silently went back indoors. Oggin recovered the sausage from his pocket, stirred his tea with it and then munched on it, whilst drinking his tea. The smell of the trench didn’t seem to bother him and the Apothecary had already given him several remedies to fight off any agues and fevers he may contract from the midden.

Having finished his crunchy sausage he went back to work and after another hour he was ready to leave. All the new compost had been loaded into a wheelbarrow and a fresh pile of covering soil added to one side of the trench, he picked up the tools and went to the back door and knocked. Tookie opened the door and stood aside to allow Oggin in.

“Ah....Oggin...will ya be wantin’ to come in for a cup a tea......or somethin’....?”

Oggin remembered Kajoa’s dire warning and thought quickly.

“Er, no thanks Tookie....I have to get that lot to Greedle’s place and I bet she’ll want it taken on to H’rsh...once she’s paid for it....Speaking of which, do you have some money for me...?”

“Well if you’re sure you’ll not take it in kind....I suppose I’ll have to pay you in cash....”

Tookie pushed a hand into her cleavage and produced a little calf skin leather pouch, opened it and shook some gold coins into her hand then passed them to Oggin.

“There ya are darlin’ boy....an’ still warm too...” she said with a wink.

Oggin started backing away, dropping the coins in a back pocket of his shirt.

“Er...ah....yes......Well thanks Tookie...I’ll call back with your barrow later or maybe tomorrow if that’s okay.....I’ll be on my way....still got a lot to do...people to see and that sort of thing....”

Tookie continued to smile and stare at Oggin as if he was a juicy steak, fluttering her eye-lashes and sticking out her bust. Oggin continued to back off and almost fell in the midden and with a great deal of mental effort hoisted the barrow and started out of the cottage garden. There was a loud sigh from behind him, matched only by the sigh he let out when he reached the safety of the green, turning left he followed the pathway toward the home of Greedle the Bronzed.

Greedle the Bronzed had arrived in the village some five years ago, claiming to have come from “a land far away, across the Small Sea, to the South”. She had earned the suffix “Bronzed” because of her golden brown skin and also because she declined to name the land she came from. As soon as she got to the village she bought up two adjoining cottages and placed a ten foot tall fence around them, in effect sealing them off. Large and vicious dogs roamed the garden space and after a month the two cottages were joined together to form one huge building. The local populace was cordially invited to stay completely away and Oggin was the only villager to have ever been inside the imposing iron gates. All transactions with her were paid for in cash, which it seemed she was never short of, so the village tradesmen over charged her to the point of extortion and in some cases, beyond. Although this mystery woman was heard to speak with a strange accent, some had claimed she would talk like a Town Dweller if she got annoyed so there was much rumour and wild speculation attached to her comings and goings. This was fuelled further by her regular contact with H’rsh the Boog, a known ‘mad woman’ and recluse and the Goat Carts which would visit Greedle’s cottage at night, driven by very rough looking men in long coats.

Oggin reached the iron gates and once more read the sign fixed to them:

LARGE DOGS INSIDE-STAY AWAY IF YOU WANT TO STAY ALIVE!

Nervously, he pulled the bell chain and was immediately greeted by the sound of loud barking from within. Through small spaces in the gate he could make out three huge black and brown dogs with bare teeth and foam flecked lips they continued to bark out their warning, a length he heard a woman’s voice.

“War’rrr...De’eath...Fa’amine...be quiet...Sit...!”

“Er...Hello....Miss Greedle....it’s me Oggin...”

“Ah....m’ester Oggin....do you ‘ave some coomb’post for me....?”

“Yes Miss Greedle...about three bushels...from Tookie the Boog’s place....very nice quality too....”

A square hatch in the gate opened and Oggin could now see the deep brown face and jet black hair of Greedle. Her dark eyes flashed a greeting and she glanced down at the wheelbarrow and its contents before stepping back and offering a small leather bag through the hatch. Oggin took the pouch and hefted it to test its weight before tucking it away in his shirt.

“Will you be wanting this to be delivered to H’rsh the Boog as normal...?”

“Si...I mean ‘yes’....y’ust ass normals...”

“Right you are then Miss Greedle....I’ll be on my way....Thank you....”

“Adiós me’ster Oggin.... adiós...”

By now the afternoon was drawing on and Oggin would have to hurry if he was to get this load to the cottage of H’rsh the Boog and get home again before dark.