The Second Saga: Part Six

First, a word on the subject of The Torchman. Throughout Oggland there are no public officials in the accepted sense. Public duties, like Postman etc. are passed down through a family and each successive generation takes on the role and in the event there is no successor, one is adopted. None of the ordinary folk of the Villages own a clock, for a number of reasons, not only are they very expensive and hard to come by but, more importantly, nobody cares a “rodent’s rectum” about the time anyway. Now, the Nick the Torchman is a sort of night watchman, he tours around the village 3 or 4 times a night with his torch making sure all is well and there are no fires, lost drunks and that sort of thing. As there is no crime in Ogg, at all, that’s really about it for him, wander around, nip home for a cuppa and then wander around again.

BUT....

As he is the only man with a clock, it’s also his job to ‘knock up’ anyone who wants to get up early in the morning, like the baker and such, plus anyone who puts out their “Torch Flag”. No particular time is guaranteed, just before sunrise is all you get and you only get one knock, so miss it and you miss out! It goes without saying that being ‘knocked up’ at just after 3am in the Summer is a bit of a bugger, especially when you only wanted to start work at six but there you go, if you’re that fussy, buy a clock.

Oh and for smartarses, yes the Romans had left a few sundials behind but they don’t work in the dark and nobody could read the stupid Roman numerals. Nick the Torchman’s got one though, he stands his clock on it.

It was just before dawn when Oggin heard his ‘knock’ and grunted a ‘thank you’ to Nick before swinging his legs off the bed. As it was still dark, he couldn’t see his legs but still he put on his ‘holeing’ trousers straight away and then lit a candle, before pulling on his ‘diggen’ shirt, with the special button on sleeves. Going to the kitchen, he found his day bag on the table, with a note propped against it. It said:

i put a piece in yr baggy----stay well  K

Kajoa had also put six cooked sausages and two hard boiled eggs on a plate and as usual the tea kettle was warming on the stove, so Oggin poured a mug of tea and set about the eggs and four of the sausages. Opening the back door, he looked out onto the dim light of dawn and sniffed the air, it was dry and not so cold as yesterday and as Oggin looked up he could see the stars starting to disappear from the mostly cloudless sky as well. He hoped this marked the beginning of Newness Season but he also knew that false starts were common as well.

It was now getting lighter by the minute, indeed it was light enough for Oggin to see the end of his garden quite well and he set about choosing the tools he’d need for the day. A freshly sharpened cutting spade was a must, as was the wide ‘shifting’ shovel. He selected a ‘dragging pick’ next and then his prize possession, his “Oggbarrow”, an invention all his own. The Oggbarrow utilised a ball instead of a wheel and it had taken Oggin weeks to make. The ball was two pieces of thin iron, hammered into half spheres and joined by a thick iron bar which acted as an axle. The ball was easier to turn and tended to bog down much less in soft ground, plus as it was bigger than a wheel it was capable of supporting a much larger hopper. Strangely, the concept didn’t catch on as Oggin had hoped among the more conservative villagers and his had remained, the only one in The Village.

With the tools loaded and day bag over his shoulder, Oggin set off to Bob Weavers place to collect the two boys. As he walked, he hoped that they would be ready as he didn’t want to be delayed today. He needn’t have worried, the two boys were standing waiting at Bob’s gate, tools over their shoulders and a bread bag each in their hands. Both wore wide smiles as Oggin approached and both nodded, and then spoke in unison.

“Mornin, Mister Oggin sir...”

“Good morning boys....ready for some work....?”

“We is thaat Mister Oggin sir....we is thaat...” they both replied.

“Then put your tools in the barrow and follow me...it’s not far....”

The lads put their tools in as instructed and the trio set off, Oggin in the lead.

The path was easy and even more of the snow had faded away from the open areas and only lurked under hedges and thickets. The sun was pleasant on Oggin’s face as he walked and he could hear the birds in the nearby trees calling out in greeting to the warmth and its promise of the Newness season to come. In a short while, they reached the large pile of snow in the middle of the path that marked Oggin’s recent ‘visit’ from the Hasslesnag yesterday. As he skirted around it he could still see the hole in the centre where he had been standing. Having rejoined the pathway, he knew they didn’t have far to go now and it would mean a good early start. As that thought was leaving his mind, the noise of that familiar ‘Pop’ sounded in front of him and took its place in his brain. Oggin stopped and put down his barrow and waited for the inevitable cloud of smoke to clear. Glancing behind him, he saw the two lads frozen and looking a little shocked, he spoke to reassure them.

“Don’t worry lads....it’s just The Stone Woman...nothing to worry about.....probably....”

Turning back, he saw that as there was so little breeze the smoke was taking a while longer than usual to clear and he could hear some loud coughing coming from within it. At last he could make out the Stone Woman, wand in hand, with one hand up to her mouth, coughing and wheezing.

“Hello Gladys....what can I do for you today....” said Oggin, trying not to laugh.

“Greet(cough)ings Oggin of (cough) the Ogg...(splutter) I have (choke) important news (cough) for you this (splutter) day.....”

“Yes.....?” replied Oggin watching as she bent double and waived her wand like a demented flagman and banging her chest with her fist.

“First Oggin of the Ogg you must answer me this (Cough-splutter).....Riddle.....”

At this point she held up wand to signal a break in the conversation and turned her back to Oggin all the while coughing and spluttering fit to bust a lung. Oggin heard some muffled sniggering from behind him and turned to see both boys with their hands clamped over their mouths and doubled up in a effort not to laugh out loud, he motioned then to be quiet and turned around just as Gladys, having regained her composure, turned around again herself.

“Answer me this, Oggin of the Ogg...What is it that has four ears, two tails and wet feet.....?”

“Er.....two donkeys in a river...?”

“No.......The answer is....Two donkeys in a river...!”

“That’s what I said.....”

“Was it....oh....sorry....Correct...the answer is indeed ‘Two Donkeys in a River’....like what you said....I shall reward you with this news......It has been decided that Newness Season...the season of newness.....shall start this very day....!”

“Right....okay....that’s er....really good news Gladys....thanks for letting me know....really....thanks....”

“You are most welcome Oggin of the Ogg......and remember you this....’A Leopard cannot ever change its trousers’....”

With a pop and a much smaller puff of smoke, she was gone and Oggin was left standing even more bemused than normal. From behind him, one of the Bobs asked.

“Mister Oggin sir....why would a Leopard wan’ ta change ‘is trousers in’a firs’ place then....?”

“I have no idea Bob....I have no idea at all....and I fancy she doesn’t either...”